by Tiffiny Carlson, VPG Blogger?
After breaking my neck at the age of 14, driving was the last thing on my radar, even though all my peers were about to start getting their driver's permits. Rehab, adjusting to living with a spinal cord injury, can kind of take your mind off such things. Plus, all we I had was an oversized conversion van after my injury, not very conducive for quadriplegic driving. Driving on-time like all of my peers definitely wasn't happening.
When I finally started to pull out of the depression I fell into after my injury, I realized I was far behind my friends when it came to being independent, and oh man, that really bugged me. By this time I was 17, and all my friends not only had their license, but had cars and were driving themselves all over town; to their jobs, to school and back home again. �Would that ever be me?� I thought.
My dream of having a vehicle I could drive - no big bulky ugly van - came true when I was 21. It was a lowered floor minivan, and even though it definitely could've been nicer (unless wood paneling is your thing), it was all I needed to start learning how to drive. And then, I ran into the biggest problem of my life: I was too scared to get behind the wheel.
When you�re paralyzed and have poor dexterity and balance, it can be intimidating being in control of a vehicle. When I first started learning how to drive, all I wanted to do was feel like I could control the thing, which isn't the easiest when you�re a C6 quadriplegic and have zero trunk function, zero balance. I kept falling over after each turn. Driving was not as fun as I had hoped.
I decided finally to sign up for one-on-one driving lessons from an adapted driving teacher, and the hardest part was finding my confidence. I didn�t want to fall over anymore, or scared it might happen. I really needed adaptations to drive safely. Since none of my therapists were able to stabilize my balance, except for giving me a chest strap, I had a light-bulb moment: I remembered the side lateral supports my seating company had given me. They would be perfect to keep my balance while I was driving.
And I was right! I remember the first time I went driving with these amazing side supports. I felt the strong balance I was looking for that gave me the confidence I needed to be a great driver. It was a miraculous moment. I finally believed, "Ok, I can do this," and "No, I'm not going to kill myself in the process either."
After a couple years of practicing with side supports (yes I was that scared; still), slowly working my way up to freeway speeds, I finally felt confident enough to take my driver's test. Even though I failed it the first time (hit a flag doing a 90� back), I did pass it the second time, utterly relieved and elated to finally have that moment that had eluded me since my teens.
It was a long, scary, confidence-building road getting behind the wheel, but at 25 when I finally got my license, I haven�t looked back. There is nothing else in life that gives me the feeling I get when I�m behind the wheel- powerful, completely independent, as if I�m not disabled anymore. It is without question, one of the happiest moments of my day.
How did you get over your fear of driving?
